so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
