he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize