He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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