i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
