You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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