I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
