I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
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