Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
