woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
