Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
