you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
