The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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