Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
love makes seman taste better
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
