arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
