she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
