if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
