Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
