I don't usually arrange sex via text message
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
