Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
