I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
