He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
