Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
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yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
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Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey