I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed