I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
