A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
