I wish I could teleport
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize