I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize