I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
