Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
