i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
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The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
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Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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