sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Randomize
