Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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