so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
