Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I am midnight drunk by noon
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Let's paint friendship bongs
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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