i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
