I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize