So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Randomize
