talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
