please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
