Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize