we should wear snuggies to the strip club
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
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SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
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The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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