u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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