You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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