Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
