yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
