he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
