Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
