Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
