She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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