I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
