I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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