Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
