Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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