where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
