If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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