you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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